Are You A People Pleaser?

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Being a people pleaser brings out what I call the little girl voice. Because when you want to put your offer to someone in a sales conversation, often being a people pleaser will mean that you will actually dull down your offer. You'll dull down your vibe, and you'll bring out what I call the little girl voice.


It goes a little bit like this. “Um, so yeah, so I was just wondering, like, to work with me is, um, about 20 dollars an hour, but, you know, I know that you've been going through a lot of trouble at the moment, so if you want to pay later that's totally fine by me.” And it goes on and on and on. Right?


The people pleaser often comes from when you were young, and you wanted to keep the peace at home. Maybe you wanted to be your momma's little girl or your dad's little girl or you wanted to be the big sibling or at school you were told that you needed to be a good girl to get ahead.


I really want you to look back and see what that poignant moment is, and then, as an adult woman, realize that’s not true.


Being a people pleaser to everyone is not serving you, and it means that you actually stay stuck because you're trying to help everyone else. Who loses when you help everyone else? You do.


So when it comes to the sales conversation or any sort of negotiation, I want you to make sure that it's fair for both parties, and that's going to be really difficult if you have a really deep, ingrained people pleaser within you. It might feel like it ruffles some feathers, and it might feel a little bit icky.


But at the end of the day, if you're being paid the value for your services on time and the other person is getting massive transformations, then there's a win-win. Both people are pleased, and that’s the biggest outcome you can ever have if you're a people pleaser: to be pleased yourself.

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